Monogamy in itself has never been a real problem. Humans are naturally able to have sex with one or many partners, they can easily have sex with one partner one day and they can have intercourse with twenty the next one. Nature has not imposed any sort of limitations as to how many people we are able to have sex with.
What we should really look at is at what is behind the strongest perception of Monogamy. That takes us to the subjects of morality and the institutions which shape morality. Probably the biggest influence on the idea of morality has been organized religion, an institution made up of schizophrenic and psychopathic (non?) wankers who are disgusted by their own natural impulses.
After thousands of years of social conditioning, society has finally internalized what monogamy should be (hell even some atheists follow protocol). Add to this the influence of the Hyperreality created by the media where everything is glossy and perfect and you end up with a seriously f.ucked up population that couldn’t be bothered to re-evaluate the meaning of Monogamy.
What is Monogamy in its raw form? an erotic/romantic relationship where 2 people agree to become exclusive, nothing more, nothing less. Now that’s fine, but if we want to gain useful insights then we need to dig deeper and look at the reasons as to why people enter into a monogamous relationship.
Well most people are under the spell of cultural Monogamy which has been shaped by organized religions and frustrated conservatives. Most people do it because… well it’s tradition, it’s what everyone does and has been doing for ages…. so we guess we should do it too because…. *brain malfunction, unable to compute more complex ideas*
So most people are recreating a toxic idea without even asking themselves if that’s what they really should be doing. Add to this the fact that a lot of people are highly insecure about themselves (the reasons are beside the point right now) and you get a perfect recipe for glorious disaster.
But if Monogamy is practiced for the right reasons then I think it can be a healthy and wonderful experience. If you have two people who are not needy and with some inner integrity then I don’t see why it couldn’t work. Oh and it helps to draw boundaries since the beginning just to be able to decide if the relationship if for you. Even better if the couple is able to see most soap operas, movies, commercials, etc. for what they are: Delusional Bullshit.
How long should a monogamous relationship last? the toxic institutions would have you believe it is forever and beyond death no matter what, but a healthy person should be able to conclude that they can’t really fix an expiration date. Depending on the attitude of each partner and circumstances beyond each one of them; it may be able to last until a partner dies of old age or maybe it will last a few months or some years. If the couple can make peace with that fact, then I’d say the probabilities for a healthy Monogamous relationship can increase.